I cannot believe my sweet baby girl turned 6 months old yesterday! Where has that time gone?!?
Blaikley is the most perfect baby. She is happy, loves everyone (especially mommy) and is dangnabbed cute!
She hasn't started crawling yet, she hates being on her belly after about 15 minutes, but she can sit by herself for over 40 minutes and says "Hi!"... She is SO smart! I love my sweet baby girl and will post many more pictures later this week! Loves!
Well... I was doing really well on blogging for a minute there. At the time of the last blog, my right had and arm was numb and the numbness was making it's way down my back, then around my to my chest and finally down my right leg. It was making me nervous because just six weeks after Blaikley was born, both of my legs went numb. That first time we were thinking it was a delayed side affect from the epidural, That numbness stuck around for about six weeks and had made it's way to my tongue, making it very difficult to speak. So now that the numbness was back, it was making me more nervous. Also during the first time, I had been seeing a chiropractor, thinking I had a pinched nerve or something. Dr. Stucky (our chiropractor, pronouced St-oo-k-ee) had me taking some vitamin B and it never seemed to really help. So when it came back, I felt strongly that it was time to do something a little more drastic.
I went to see Jed's cousin, Dr. Jacob Pugsley in Brigham City, Ut on November 9th. He did an unofficial carpal tunnel test, checked my reflexes, checked a few other things and decided he wanted to get a MRI on my brain. Talk about scary. The next day I called my regular physician, Dr. Jacob Curtis in Preston, Id and he agreed it was time to get a MRI. We went to the Cache Valley Specialty Hospital on November 17th. That was an interesting experience. I was in the machine for maybe 10 minutes when they shut it off. It was suppose to take a half hour but I thought maybe we just finished quickly. The guy who was taking the MRI (the tech?) said the machine was being weird and they had to re-start it. He said the computer wasn't showing anything..... Hahaha :) I couldn't help but tell him that my family always joked I didn't have a brain... He just smiled. I swear, no sense of humor.
They finally had it up and going again and I could think about was that it was Blaikley's nap time. She gets a little fussy around nap time mainly because she's ready to nurse again. My dear, wonderful husband had taken time off of work to be with Blaikley while I was in the machine and to spend a little bit of time with me. Work has been crazy busy for him and I know that it made his work day slightly more stressful to be there with me, even though he would never admit. He is the best husband, ya'll.
We had to wait until the next day, November 18th, 2011 to get the MRI results.
My life changed forever.
I know it sounds a little dramatic, but it's the truth. About 9 am that day, I got a call from Dr. Curtis's office. They said that Dr. Curtis had the results and they wanted me to come in, all the way to Preston, at 1 pm to meet with Dr. Curtis. And to bring Jed.
We are minimally a half hour from Preston. And Dr. Curtis is the greatest doctor. He has treated my family and I even better than the best. He is absolutely wonderful. And he doesn't usually make me drive to the office unless it's serious. I had the nurse double check that Jed needed to be there since they were in the middle of surgeries and were already down a few people at work. When Dr. Curtis said that Jed really needed to be there, I knew the results weren't good, he doesn't usually make Jed be there unless he's really needed. Even the day they started me to get Blaikley here. They didn't have me call Jed until they placed the starting pills. So I was worried. Jed, the ever to calm and level headed, was thinking they couldn't see anything on the MRI and didn't know where to go from here. But, truly, I think he was only saying that because I freaking out and he was trying to keep me calm. I told you he is the greatest.
We get to Dr. Curtis's office only to be greeted by his wonderful staff. His receptionist and nurses love Blaikley and immediately came to hold her. And even though they were so busy, they held her while Jed and I went to sit in Dr. Curtis's office with him. That just confirmed it to me even more that the news wasn't great. Dr. Curtis only made a little small talk before laying it all on table. The results were in. I have Multiple Sclerosis.
I did my training to become a certified CNA and was able to spend 80 hours in Wieser, Id at the Nursing home. All I could think about was a dear, sweet lady who couldn't get out of bed, couldn't eat on her own, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything for herself because MS had damaged her nerves so bad.
Needless I started to bawl.
Jed teared up but did so with grace I only wish I could possess. Dr. Curtis teared up and told me that it sucked. Those exact words... "This sucks." I told you he was the best. Then he said that he would rather tell me I have diabetes than MS. He clearly doesn't know my family history with that :)
But, really, I'm doing okay. I spent the ride home crying and trying to be positive. I told Jed that when/if I end up in a wheelchair, I want it to be hair-on, hide covered with lots of bling. And if I ever need a feeding tube, make it pink or turquoise or something pretty and feminine.
I don't know what this means for my future. There are so many symptoms and the doctors, at this point in time, can't tell you what you'll experience or how bad it will be. At least as far as I know right now. From what I can tell, the more episodes/attacks you have, the more damage it does to your nerves and the quicker/worse it will debilitate you. Right now, I've had two attacks in four months and they only like to see two a year. So tomorrow morning Jed, Blaikley and I will go see a neurologist here in Logan, a Dr. Williams, and see what he has to say. I have no idea what to expect or what he'll say, but I'm looking forward to seeing what the next step will be. Especially since the numbness had moved out of my right leg and is on my right side, right arm, and at the tips of the left hand fingers right now. I think I would learn to live without being able to walk, it would be tough but I could do it, but I couldn't stand not being able to use my hands... I mean, I could do it if I had to, but if I had to choose between the two, I'd rather be able to use my arms and hands. It's already been difficult to change Blaikley's diaper, put on make up, write out a check, pull on my boots, brush my hair, button my jeans, make dinner... I know it'll be fine either way, and hopefully I don't need to use loose either, but I pray I never loose my eyesight or ability to talk or swallow or loose my hand function.
Jed and his brother Flint gave me a wonderful blessing before the MRI and it has been a wonderful comfort. So had my patriarchal blessing. I am so thankful for the gospel and for the amazing man who is my eternal husband who is worthy to hold the priesthood. I am also grateful for my amazing family, on both sides, and wonderful friends. We are so blessed with such amazing people in our lives, I can't even begin to describe how humbled and grateful we are.
I have loads more to say but it's late and tomorrow has the potential to be a crazy long day. Love ya'll and I'll let you know what goes on. Night!
